The Machiavellian Bunny
I'm laughing as I type the name of this bunny identity. It seems like a scandalous name to call a such a cute, soft animal. Have you seen the movie Pets? Yep, I promise this particular bunny wears the name like a badge.
Description: The Machiavellian bunny is the con artist of the lagomorph world. It's smart, oh so smart about reading people and situations. It is well aware of it's strengths and also how to use those strengths for it's own benefit. If you have a Machiavellian bunny (I'm already regretting how long it takes to type the name.) it can be sweet or ignore you, or demand something one minute and disdain it the next. It might act clumsy, and then suddenly be an escape artist. It will keep you guessing, and never be boring. When loved and secure it is mostly good-natured and funny, and its attempts at controlling a situation become hilarious antics. Think Tom Sawyer.
My first Machiavellian bunny was Willow. She was an adorable kit. White as snow with deep dark eyes. She had tons of energy and was mostly just cuddly and playful. We didn't see signs of her true identity until she was a junior. One day we put her in the pen to play while we cleaned. The pen was 4 ft tall, and Willow was very small. She ran around, seemingly content with her boxes and toys. We left for just a few minutes, and when we came back, Willow was running around the rabbitry. The door to the pen was still locked shut. To verify what seemed like an impossibility, we put her back in the pen, pretended to leave and proceeded to spy on her. It took all of two minutes and we witnessed Willow launch herself halfway up the pen and then climb/jump the rest of the way out. Ridiculous and remarkable.
Like all other bunnies, Willow was always open to being offended. For instance, Willow always tried to hold a grudge when we cut her nails. However, unlike most other bunnies, Willow would turn on a dime and forgive you if it got her a treat. No bunny sheds self-respect for basil and banana like a Machiavellian bunny. For whatever reason, when the smell of their favorite treat is in the air, they become crazed and carry on in a completely undignified manner until you surrender it.
For all her craziness and unpredictability, Willow was also endearing. She would put her chin on your shoulder when you held her and grind. We gave her a long piece of fleece in the winter and she would push it into a pile and duck under it, always managing to wrap it around her like a scarf. It was definitely on purpose and I'm still amazed by the fact that she did it at least twice a day.
Our second Machiavellian bunny was Etesian. He was my first blue bunny and I was so excited to have that color. He was extremely amiable and sweet and always eager for attention. He had tons of energy and was playful. We could tell very early on that he was nimble and a good climber, and he frequently stood on his back feet to survey an area, as if he was checking for all possible exits. We should have known that he would be an escape artist.
Every fall we took new pictures of all our stock for use on the website. It was a long process because we took advantage of the scenery and lighting and took pictures in multiple areas to guarantee several good shots. A few of our neighbors graciously offered their backyards and landscaping to us, and one year we decided to use a water feature. Bad idea. Most of the bunnies were nervous around the flowing water, even though they were sitting on solid rock. Not Etesian. The moment we pulled out the camera, he went for it and started bounding over the rocks. Unfortunately, he miscalculated and jumped right into the water. We got him out quickly, but then had to spend an hour giving him a bath and drying him off with the hair dryer.
My last and current Machiavellian bunny is Cosette. Impishly cute, isn't she? She's adorable and she knows it. Cosette never seems to take anything that seriously, including her family. She does funny little things like running under her hanging toys and then turning around and dramatically biting and batting at them as if they moved and started bothering her. She loses her mind when we bring out banana and when we put it on her pillow, she can't find it because she is beside herself with excitement. Cosette also moves her jingly ball if we are around but ignoring her. She is sugary sweet sometimes, and pouty and aloof at others. She is very fast on her feet and again, a great escape artist. If you pet Cosette while she is in her cage, she patiently ENDURES it. If you take her out and hold her in order to pet her, she will grind and be affectionate.
In conclusion, the Machiavellian bunny will keep you on your toes, and it might even figure out how to get YOU to do what it wants. It will find a way to escape, so be careful. It will melt your heart with its sweet gestures. It will pout and sometimes ignore you. It will make you laugh and have fun. It definitely knows more than you think it does.
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